February 27, 2009PEOPLE
Julia Roberts, world famous Oscar winning actress, of such films as Pretty Woman and Erin Brockovich, was declared blind by a crack team of eye specialists who decended on the movie stars home late last night. A statement was given to the media by Dr. Martin Fineman, from Cedar Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles. "Ms. Roberts was made blind by a large dose of semen, lodged in her octoliar cavity or eye socket to use laymens terms." When asked to follow up on the statement the doctor declined. An upity negro in from the back of the press corner approached, sweating profusely and making random jerking motions. Before he was subdued by police he screamed, "He nutted in her eye!"
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