Richard Hawkins, famed "GILF" hunter dead at 53

February 27, 2009
USA Today

Richard Hawkins loved the ladies, especially the older ones, and claims to have bedded over 500 women over the age of 65. "Mr. Hawkins exclusively dated women who were quite elderly," stated Miami Beach Sheriff, Lyle Hopper. Mr. Hawkins apparantly died of a combination of alcohol and pills. The term GILF or Grandmas I'd Like to F**k was coined by a long time fan and admirer of Mr. Hawkins, Sir Henry Jenkins, founder of the National Man Boy Love Association, or NAMBLA. "Dick had a tremendous libido," continued Sir Jenkins. "I was quite envious of him. One of the reasons older women found him so attractive is that he was such a ravenous lover especially in the area of oral copulation." Sir Jenkins became tearful as he clutched a photo of his friend sandwiched between two former girlfriends in a nearby hospice. "The streets of Boca are quiet tonight," wept Sir Jenkins. "These women were lonely trapped inside these loveless compounds called nursing homes. He would hunt them down and love them. Who are they going to turn to now?"