President Obama asks for Help

March 18, 2009, 1:20 pm — Updated: 1:42 pm

By Donald P. Wizard Staff Writer to The New York Times

President Barack Obama just spoke with reporters on the White House lawn as he prepared to depart for California. "Help a nigger out y'all." Words that sent a shudder through the audience. "I mean a lot of shits been going on and need you all to be cool or I'm going to put a foot in your ass." The press corp and some Obama aides were visibly shaken by this in the latest of a serious of verbal lashings. He criticized the bonuses given to American International Group executives as an “inappropriate use of taxpayer funds,” and said he wants Congress to pass legislation giving the government greater regulatory authority over financial institutions like A.I.G.“Obviously, the whole issue of A.I.G. is fucked up and these bonuses that have been paid out have been consuming a lot of muther fuckin' attention because they represent what I think all of us consider fucked up,” President Obama said. “But what I think is also important and just as outrageous is the fact that we find ourselves in this mutherfucker." He added: “One of the messages that I want to send is that, as we get out of this crisis, as we work towards getting ourselves out of recession, I hope that Wall Street gets it's mutherfuckin shit together. Don;t be thinkin the marketplace don’t think that we can return to business as usual. The business models that created a lot of paper wealth but not real wealth in the country goddammit. Now this mutherfucker is all fucked up. I mean shit!" President Obama also offered support to his beleaguered Treasury secretary, saying Mr. Geithner “He's my nigger."