Gay marriage legalized inside a man's butt

Father Flannery of Catholic Boys Outreach shows exactly where gay marriage can take place.
Photo by Michael Cocksucker

March 6, 2009
The Washington Post

In a stunning turn around The California State Supreme Court overturned Propostion 8 outlawing Gay Marriage. A spokesman for the court made today's announcement. "In a five to four vote Propostion 8 is nullified." When pressed for further detail the spokesman became visibly nervous and made a quick exit. "What they failed to mention," said Gary Swisher, a lawyer for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance or GLADD, "was where and how gay marriage can be conducted. I fail to see the humor in this highly offensive ruling by the court." When it was announced outside the courthouse in Sacramento several hundred people broke out in spontaneous cheers. This quickly died down when it was discovered that same sex couples, while being allowed to marry must now conduct the ceremony inside a man's anus. "I don't get it," exclaimed Stan Martin, a flamboyantly dressed theater usher. "I mean do I have to crawl up there? Hello, I'm not a gerbal." Civil rights attorney Jerry Goldberg took the microphone. "People, we've won a long, hard fought victory. You wanted gay marriage to be legal in California and so it is due to your hard work and perseverance. Now it''s up to you to figure out how you are going to fit two people up a grown man's ass." An irate man stormed the stage but was immediately given the gag ball by police. Sean Penn, the Oscar winning star of Milk, about the slain gay activist Harvey Milk, stepped to the podium expecting to be cheered but was instead met with a hail of ping-pong balls filled with AIDS infected semen. As he struggled to his feet unable to see, his wife Robin Wright Penn, distraught over the attack on her husband, knelt on the stage and performed sepukku. Chris Burke, the star of "Life Goes on", stood in as honorary kaishaku.