Recent violence in US linked to this couple

April 7, 2009

UPI

Donald P. Wizard

Matt and Sherry Netherland, a seemingly happy couple from Montclaire, New Jersey are the cause of the recent gun violence plaguing the United States according to Justice Department sources. Mr. Netherland, a computer software engineer and his wife, a professed "soccer mom" have received death threats, law suits, and what turns out most of the blame for the several multiple homicides through four states. A tearful Mrs. Netherland denies any culpability. "I was just picking my kids up from school when that chink I mean Asian American killed all those people." When pressed about what is now being called the Pittsburg police massacre where three officers were killed by Ricahrd Polikowski Mrs. Netherland claimed innocence. "I had nothing to do with that. Besides, wasn't he Polish?" Mr. Netherland clearly angry at the throng of reporters on their lawn stormed out. "We're honest law abiding tax payers. Stop harassing us!" Mr. Netherland then produced a small hand gun and took his own life. Mrs. Nertherland distraught and disoriented performed sepukku with her ten year old Ricky standing in as an emergency Kaishaku.