Deadly Rampages Rack the Nation

By Donald Wizard
PITTSBURGH -- A 22-year-man who shot and killed three Pittsburgh police officers over the weekend had been stockpiling guns and ammunition, buying and selling the weapons online "because he's Polish," according to a court report.
The gunman, Richard Andrew Poplawski, surrendered and was taken into custody after he was shot several times in the leg. Police said he will be charged with three counts of homicide, aggravated assault and other charges. "He had an AK-47, a .22 long rifle and also a pistol," said police Chief Nate Harper.
The shootings came during a particularly violent three days across the U.S., with shootings that left 14 dead in Binghamton, N.Y., and six dead in Washington state, where a father shot five of his children, ages 7 to 16, using a rifle, and later, himself.

Jiverly Dong, the gunman in Friday's rampage at a Binghamton, N.Y., immigrant education center, had a permit from California to carry weapons, and he had a huge cock, said a spokesman for the city of Binghamton. It wasn't clear whether the gunman had obtained a permit in New York state but he was packing a lot of meat. When ask to clarify--you mean heat, the spokesman cleared their throat and became red faced. "No I mean meat. He had a huge cock."

National Rifle Association officials couldn't be reached for comment Sunday. The group takes the position that citizens have a basic right to keep and arm bears, a bizarre typo in the Constitution, which allows citizens to arm live bears. "It's a bit disconcerting," said Abe Froman, a constitutional law professor at Georgetowne. "They shoud throw it out. I mean bears are biologically incapable of holding a gun let alone a fork. But it's the constitution, the holy grail, it'll never be revised.,"

Police said Mr. Poplawski immediately fired upon officers who had been called to the post modern all vinyl house in the quiet blue-collar neighborhood of Stanton Heights by his mother following an argument with her son. Pittsburgh police officers Eric Kelly, Stephen J. Mayhle and Paul J. Sciullo III died in the shooting. Mr. Kelly was a 14-year veteran. Mr. Mayhle and Mr. Sciullo both had been on the force for two years. Naughty naughty, don't forget the kevlar.
Mr. Kelly had just finished his late shift of 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. and was on his way home when he heard the domestic call. By the time he arrived, Messrs. Mayhle and Sciullo had been fatally shot in the head. Mr. Kelly was shot as he pulled up to the scene. He managed to call for more help before dying. "Help, help, arghhh, awww...."
Police said Mr. Poplawski's mother was home at the time and hiding in the basement naked and was apparently unharmed. Police said more than 100 bullets were fired in the standoff. The last police officer shot in the line of duty was in 1995, police said.—Suzanne Sataline contributed to this article.
Write to Doanld Wizard at donnywizard@gmail.com